Thursday, March 25, 2010

stark

Are you confident naked?
For a very long time I have almost been a naked-phobic.*
I am one who would even dodge the mirror as I got into the shower. Many of you may be feeling nervous for my husband to-be and our impending marriage, because apparently nakedness is involved in such a union. **
Speaking of our engagement, we took our engagement photos... I will be sure to share once they have available.
Call me shallow or vain, but I had desires for my skin to look sun kissed for the photos. Is that so wrong? I don't care who you are, don't you feel a little prettier and maybe even thinner when you are tan?
Instead of spending time in the tanning bed or jumping into a box and having a machine spray me, I opted to be airbrushed.
Um... Did you know that people do this naked?!?! As in stark naked. NUDE. I asked the lady technician for a towel, so I could perhaps break up the nudity. She said ok... But when it came down to it she said I needed to be positioned like this:



(Arms out legs spread-this was the only pic that showcased the stance. Sorry about the nudity)
After a little hesitation I dropped my towel and with my head held high I stood there, and she sprayed my every inch. My head was held high mostly because I was too embarrassed to look at her. (It was like a little kid playing peek-a-boo. They think you can't see them if they are covering their own eyes.)

Well, she saw me. Saw all of me, and I was indeed the most naked I have ever been.

It wasn't as traumatic is I expected. But, for the record I wasn't comfortable.
Really the most traumatic part was what I smelled like afterwards. (chemical....ek)

I was feeling pretty pleased about my decision and results... until my friend said, "you got sprayed naked??!? Anna, PORN STARS do that!"
So, maybe me and the late Anna Nicole Smith do have something in common besides our names after all....







fake skin color.










*being spray tanned and being in nursing school are good remedies for anyone else who may be a bit naked-phobic
**For the record, I am not worried.



12 comments:

Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

I really, REALLY love you. Thank you for making me laugh today :) Have you seen "Arrested Development"? I'll be on the hunt for some cute pink cut-offs, my little never-nude friend.

PS.. We're the same.

Alisha Stamper | Photographer said...

bwa hahaha. I laughed so hard the WHOLE time i was reading this. the only thing that would make it better is a video of you telling this story because I am sure your facial expressions would be PRICELESS!

Jed and Valerie Smith said...

That is TOOOO funny!!! I am thinking of doing the same for your wedding, but am worried about the "naked" part too. Honestly who wants to see the body of someone who just delivered a baby the week before! YUCK!

CharlieJo said...

ROFL! Anna I love you. :) that's a great story, and I'm surprised you went and got sprayed! but totally get it. I'd probably get a new pair of shoes..a new haircut or something. I'm not sure if I could bear all to someone I don't know. ;) can not wait to see the engagement pictures!!

Niki said...

Oh my gosh, I love your guts!! I love that you talked about being naked. Ha ha. :) I am still laughing.

Sarah said...

ah, nakedness. as comfortable as i was having to change backstage in front of all kinds of strangers while in dance, i still would be a bit shy about baring all for the spray-on tan lady, so kudos to you.

for the record, i don't know what it actually feels like to be tan. and i refuse to do a spray-on tan because i'm afraid i'll look WAY better tan than white, and where would that leave me?!

Larissa said...

I felt your discomfort as I read that because I am the exact same way. I live alone and still will, at the least, walk around with a robe on. I am so proud of you for wearing your birthday suit! Stay strong, sista!

Marley Family said...

All I have to say is Naked and Nude Naked and Nude;)

dunnthat said...

Who told thee that thou wast naked? :)

I KNOW the body is a beautiful thing...God's creation, blah blah blah. But I can't stand the sight of me naked. But if I looked like YOU I'd be naked all the time. Sigh. Youth is wasted on the young.

PS I've done the naked spray tan as well - last wedding. SO uncomfortable. If you close YOUR eyes they can't see you, though.

Amelia said...

Lynn - I love you!! The ONLY other people who have see me naked (other than my hubbie) are the nurses and doctors taking care of my c-sections! And that is still awkward. Bravo to you - I dont think I would ever have the guts to do that...and you can tell by my bright white skin color :) love you cuz!

Kristin said...

Best post.
ever.
you're hilarious.

Your Moma said...

Hee, Haha, hehe, haha---I've seen you naked from the very beginning. Not the same I know. I'm still nakaphopic. But I have cellulite and varicose veins. I would love to be spray taned but I know whomever the task fell to could not handle it without snickering.