Thursday, March 25, 2010

stark

Are you confident naked?
For a very long time I have almost been a naked-phobic.*
I am one who would even dodge the mirror as I got into the shower. Many of you may be feeling nervous for my husband to-be and our impending marriage, because apparently nakedness is involved in such a union. **
Speaking of our engagement, we took our engagement photos... I will be sure to share once they have available.
Call me shallow or vain, but I had desires for my skin to look sun kissed for the photos. Is that so wrong? I don't care who you are, don't you feel a little prettier and maybe even thinner when you are tan?
Instead of spending time in the tanning bed or jumping into a box and having a machine spray me, I opted to be airbrushed.
Um... Did you know that people do this naked?!?! As in stark naked. NUDE. I asked the lady technician for a towel, so I could perhaps break up the nudity. She said ok... But when it came down to it she said I needed to be positioned like this:



(Arms out legs spread-this was the only pic that showcased the stance. Sorry about the nudity)
After a little hesitation I dropped my towel and with my head held high I stood there, and she sprayed my every inch. My head was held high mostly because I was too embarrassed to look at her. (It was like a little kid playing peek-a-boo. They think you can't see them if they are covering their own eyes.)

Well, she saw me. Saw all of me, and I was indeed the most naked I have ever been.

It wasn't as traumatic is I expected. But, for the record I wasn't comfortable.
Really the most traumatic part was what I smelled like afterwards. (chemical....ek)

I was feeling pretty pleased about my decision and results... until my friend said, "you got sprayed naked??!? Anna, PORN STARS do that!"
So, maybe me and the late Anna Nicole Smith do have something in common besides our names after all....







fake skin color.










*being spray tanned and being in nursing school are good remedies for anyone else who may be a bit naked-phobic
**For the record, I am not worried.



Sunday, March 7, 2010

Jetsons

There has been a lot of talk about my mode of transportation in the last little while. It is a pretty impressive machine. Not many have heard of a Chrysler lasting more than 200 THOUSAND miles.
The longevity of this magical thing has not come easy. I have AAA and without fail I have used the allotted tows each year. My mechanic , whom I love (did I just use "whom" in the right context??) knows me by name. AND he and I are both impressed that he hasn't had to do anything major since I ran her off the road January 2009.
For a while I tried to talk my dad into helping me get a different car. No way. His words exactly: "I made my bed and I am going to sleep in it!" Translation: We put a lot of work into it and I am not going to throw that away.
So, I have had to grow to love this car. Or at least appreciate it. No car payment has been most lovely.
The following are a few things that I love about this vehicle, or at least things that I believe give it some charm.
The paint is chipping off. Not the most attractive thing, but I have the strongest urges to pick it off. Kind of like when you get a sunburn. Who doesn't feel some sort of satisfaction when you peel off a big piece of your skin? (gross, but agree with me)
It has a squeak. I go to my trusty mechanic every 6 weeks or so and he sprays the under carriage to make it go away. BUT I have heard from a few friends that they LOVE to hear the squeak. They say it is charming...
It sounds like a Jetson mobile, or so I have been told. It has a gentle "whirring" much like the sound of the Jetson's futuristic mobiles. I know, you are jealous.
When coming off the freeway, or taking it down from a very high speed to a much slower speed it has a shake. It gives my arms a massage, and reminds me that I should work on getting those arms in shape.
Who else has a car that does ALL that?

To my Chrysler: Here's to many more months of driving bliss! Cheers!! (please, for the love, do not die!)