Saturday, November 21, 2009


I soak up smell like kitty litter soaks up pee. (ew) I will blame it on my hair. It absorbs any and ALL smells.

When I drive through the Subway drive thru, to eat fresh, I smell like I just put in a 10 hour shift as a sandwich artist.

If someone has lit a campfire within a 10 mile radius I smell like I sang kumbaya and roasted mallows around that fire. It usually takes 3 washes to get the stench out.

Someone orders fajitas at the other end of the table and not only do I smell like sizzling chicken or beef with onions, but I start speaking spanish. It's weird.

I walk through the farm animal exhibits at the fair and come home smelling like I just rolled around in manure. (Roommate requested I shower as soon as I walked in the house)

This can be a problem. I do not always want to smell like the food I may or may not have eaten and I do not want to smell like all my extracurricular activities.

Fix it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

And I shall call her...Wendy.

I went grocery shopping today. Woo-pee-doo right? No big deal? Wrong. BIG deal. It was needed. I haven't bought food since Winco made its debut here in the Salt Lake Valley. I was running low. Way low.

So low that last week I decided that I would name my first born girl Wendy. After Wendy's. I ate there 5 times in the last week. At least. I love their spicy chicken anything. I was there 3 times in 2 days. So very sad, yet so very good. Not going to name names, but someone else ate there just as much as I did last week.

I sent this text to that person on my last Wendy's run:

Yep, I did. Again.

Stop judging already! It's convenient.... and quick... and cheap...and it tastes good! I love Wendy, and she loves me back.

Monday, November 2, 2009


I craved bacon all morning. It was really ALL I could think about. I woke up wanting it. Drove to work thinking about it. Told all my co-workers I had to get some. Told them I was craving it ever 3min. It was consuming all my energy to crave it. I practically forgot my own name because all I could think about was bacon. At least two pieces pork goodness needed to be mine. (because when would 1 piece ever be enough?) By 10:30am I was almost climbing the walls. I finally ran over to the cafeteria to indulge.

It was gone. They were getting lunch out. No bacon for me. Tragedy.

I settled for a diet coke and a brownie (yes, at 10:30 in the morning).

The only thing close to a pork product that I got today was a vaccination for the piggie flu.

This better not be a reflection of how the rest of my week is going to go.