odoriferous

I soak up smell like kitty litter soaks up pee. (ew) I will blame it on my hair. It absorbs any and ALL smells.

When I drive through the Subway drive thru, to eat fresh, I smell like I just put in a 10 hour shift as a sandwich artist.

If someone has lit a campfire within a 10 mile radius I smell like I sang kumbaya and roasted mallows around that fire. It usually takes 3 washes to get the stench out.

Someone orders fajitas at the other end of the table and not only do I smell like sizzling chicken or beef with onions, but I start speaking spanish. It's weird.

I walk through the farm animal exhibits at the fair and come home smelling like I just rolled around in manure. (Roommate requested I shower as soon as I walked in the house)

This can be a problem. I do not always want to smell like the food I may or may not have eaten and I do not want to smell like all my extracurricular activities.

Fix it.

And I shall call her...Wendy.

I went grocery shopping today. Woo-pee-doo right? No big deal? Wrong. BIG deal. It was needed. I haven't bought food since Winco made its debut here in the Salt Lake Valley. I was running low. Way low.

So low that last week I decided that I would name my first born girl Wendy. After Wendy's. I ate there 5 times in the last week. At least. I love their spicy chicken anything. I was there 3 times in 2 days. So very sad, yet so very good. Not going to name names, but someone else ate there just as much as I did last week.

I sent this text to that person on my last Wendy's run:

Yep, I did. Again.

Stop judging already! It's convenient.... and quick... and cheap...and it tastes good! I love Wendy, and she loves me back.

oink

I craved bacon all morning. It was really ALL I could think about. I woke up wanting it. Drove to work thinking about it. Told all my co-workers I had to get some. Told them I was craving it ever 3min. It was consuming all my energy to crave it. I practically forgot my own name because all I could think about was bacon. At least two pieces pork goodness needed to be mine. (because when would 1 piece ever be enough?) By 10:30am I was almost climbing the walls. I finally ran over to the cafeteria to indulge.



It was gone. They were getting lunch out. No bacon for me. Tragedy.


I settled for a diet coke and a brownie (yes, at 10:30 in the morning).


The only thing close to a pork product that I got today was a vaccination for the piggie flu.


This better not be a reflection of how the rest of my week is going to go.

white hair

Here is a picture of some of my friends from the mission. Some are young and some are not as young. Note the good looking people with white hair. Sheesh, I love them. Sometimes I feel like I can relate to the seasoned age group easier than my own generation.

What I am getting at is... I think I will make a great old lady one day.

Here's why:

I love a nice cup of herbal tea. Blueberry is the flavor of choice these days AND tea tastes good when you are reading a good book.

I love to tousle young peoples hair, pinch kids cheeks and kiss babies.

I love me an occasional Werthers original toffee candy.

I think pants with elastic waists are comfortable and practical.

I love cats. I have 4 right now and they are the loves of my life. *

I pay to lighten my hair. One day it will just be white.... or gray... for free.

I sometimes say inappropriate things and I long for the days that people will just ignore it and chalk it up to me being senile and old. Old people can get away with saying ANYTHING.










*Complete lie. I don't have a cat or cats. Do not wish to ever own one. Just thought it sounded good because old ladies have cats. ;)

H is for...

I was on the phone today communicating with a doctors office. I was trying to spell a difficult name out for the woman on the other end...
A as in apple, N as in Nancy, S as in Sam etc...

H. H as in......

Nothing. Silence on the other end. My mind blank of ANY H words that would do H justice.

Hell. H as in hell!

It did the job. In fact the lady on the other end giggled. Name was successfully given. Information successfully exchanged.

I know. Probably not appropriate or professional. BUT probably better for me to say that than hooker and hussy. Both words that came to mind.

Isn't there some kind of universal tool for this? Doesn't the military use something helpful? What was the proper H word I should have been using?!

Mind the Gap

Remember these ladies? We were all together two weekends ago. Had a sleepover. (pillow fights and braided each others hair). Went to General Relief Society Conference together. I love that Barbara Thompson sister. Gave a wonderful talk... "Mind the Gap" Here's the gist...

Several years ago I visited some dear friends in London, England. During this visit I traveled on the tube—a subway system of underground trains that people use frequently to get from place to place. In each of these busy subway stations, there are warning signs about dangers that people may encounter. Lights flash on and off to notify people that a train is approaching and they need to stand back. There is also a sign to remind people that there is danger—a gap between the train and the station platform. The sign says, “Mind the Gap.” This reminds people not to let their foot get caught in the gap and not to drop anything in the gap because it will go under the train and be lost. The caution sign is needed and warns people of a very real danger. In order to be safe, people must “mind the gap.”
Many of us have gaps in our own lives. Sometimes it is the difference between what we know and what we actually do or the gap between our goals and what we actually accomplish. These gaps can be reminders of ways in which we can improve or, if ignored, can be stumbling blocks in our lives.

Read the talk. It is a good one.

I did a study abroad in London years ago. This talk got me thinking about my own experience on the tube. Shout out to Miss Hannah. Good times.

This little Idaho girl loved feeling like a city girl. What is more "city girl" than riding an underground train everyday?

We were there one of the hottest European summers of history. The tube wasn't air conditioned. I think that they perhaps should consider changing that (if they haven't already) OR maybe install showers were people can rinse off before boarding. Extreme heat+tube+lots of people who don't value daily showers=wretched smell.

Street performers. So fun. Usually really good and often creepy.

Vending machines right on the tracks... Filled with Cadbury specialties. Heaven. Americans can't touch their chocolate over there. They just do it better.

People watching. LOVED it. Such a melting pot.

Sometimes it was tricky to hold on when the tube was in motion. Wish I would have learned this trick:

Hands free. Tubular.

Tell me

Should one feel guilty for:

Eating a lot of ice cream? I mean... a few bowls (meaning more than one) everyday for several days in a row?

Letting her handsome boyfriend pay 2 dollars at the fair so we could get a look at the shortest woman in the world? (she was 29 inches... I imagine that most people would be curious.)

For having Fergilious song lyrics in her head ALL day long then struggling to get them out of her head during prayers?

Huh.

Just curious.

I wouldn't feel guilty.... but that's just me.


fergilious def-i-nition... make them boys go loco....



Ok maybe a little guilty about the smallest woman in the world...